Quick Overview
- 6/7-month baby girl.
- All sleep must be contact.
- Short naps.
- Frequent false starts every night.
- Night wakings (typically 5-6).
Family Goals
- Independent sleep (naps and night) in crib.
- No false starts + longer stretches.
- Open to traditional sleep training.
- Open to some co-sleeping but wanted to have at least some naps and night sleep independently.
When I connected with Brenda, she was struggling; she could not put her baby girl Billie down for any sleep.
While Brenda didn’t mind some contact sleep, she was starting to feel like she didn’t have any life or time in the evening with her partner.
But anytime she put Billie down in her crib, she would immediately wake up.
And even with contact sleep, her daughter was having some challenges…
Billie was having multiple false starts nights. She would wake up every 30 min and do this for 3 hours until she seemed to fall into a deeper sleep.
Reaching out for help
Billie’s family had been working with a sleep consulting agency using a Ferber-style sleep training method, and things were going horribly.
After three nights, Billie was falling asleep in her crib at bedtime in a reasonable amount of time (so technically, she was “sleep trained”), but her nights were even worse than before.
She was spending an average of 2.5 hours awake overnight: split nights, frequent wakes, and a struggle to transfer back to the crib.
The coach recommended applying the sleep training method to night wakes too. The result was a lot of stress and lost sleep for everyone.
Brenda told me her daughter was “a completely different baby” because of the program. She was grumpy and irritable. Something wasn’t right…
The previous coach blamed Billie’s recent daycare transition and missed these symptoms as glaring red flags of a schedule issue.
Since Billie was technically falling asleep on her own at bedtime, the coach considered it case closed.
Troubleshooting this failed sleep training program
Brenda sent me her detailed notes from the seven days of sleep training with the previous coach.
I went through them carefully, and right away I could see several red flags that the recommended schedule wasn’t right for Billie.
Because it’s hard to gauge a child’s true sleep needs during sleep training, I started with a schedule for a baby with average sleep needs: about 13.5 hours a day, with 2.5 hours of daytime sleep over 2-naps and an 11-hour night.
Within a few days, it was clear Billie wasn’t ready for two naps, so we went back to three naps and increased her awake time.
As her sleep improved, we kept adjusting her sleep budget.
At the same time, we continued with the Ferber-style approach, but only at bedtime. I told Brenda not to use it for night wakes.
If Billie woke during the night, Brenda could tend to her however she wanted. This was to avoid any unnecessary stress or sleep loss.
These were my initial recommendations.
The Sleep
Plan
Schedule:
We initially planned for a 13.5 hour sleep budget.
This was adjusted until we landed on the final sleep budget of 12.5 hours.
Daytime sleep capped at 2-2.5 hours over 3 naps; time in bed overnight capped at 10-10.5 hours. This allowed for some flexibility.
Stick to a consistent wakeup and bedtime as much as possible.
Routine & Environment:
The family already had a great evening routine leading up to bedtime and an optimal sleep set-up.
No changed to make here.
Falling Asleep + wakes:
Advised to continue apply FERBER-style check-ins at bedtime. Intervals based on what they are comfortable with.
No sleep training applied to wakes. Tend to baby if crying is escalating. Offer feeding as mom thinks is needed.
If baby is struggling to transfer to crib, family can co-sleep as needed.
The Results
With the right schedule in place, Billie started falling asleep quickly at bedtime with very little fussing.
Her average sleep onset at the end of the program was <10 minutes. Minimal fussing.
Within four nights on the new schedule, false starts were gone. Billie went from multiple split nights and transfer battles to one or two quick wakes per night (average time awake at night 20 min) with minimal transfer issues.
She usually has a longer stretch at the start of the night (6.5 hours on average), then wakes for a quick feed and goes right back to sleep.
If she wakes in the early morning around 5 a.m., Brenda brings her into bed to co-sleep until it’s time to get up, so she still gets some snuggle time with her baby.
Brenda can now put Billie down for most naps. They’re still short sometimes, which is normal on three naps, but on most days she has at least one longer independent nap of an hour or more.
The Takeaway
💛 Sleep training will likely fail on the wrong schedule.
💛 False starts, split nights, and transfer battles are usually due to a schedule issue, not a self settling issue!
💛 You can sleep train for bedtime and co-sleep for parts of the night if you want.
💛 Short naps can be normal on a 3 nap schedule, 1 longer nap can be possible to acheive.
Leave a Reply