Quick Overview
- 20-month-old toddler girl.
- Sleep challenges started at 18 months.
- Previously slept well in her crib.
- Was sleep-trained as an infant.
Main Challenge
- Sudden long sleep onset of 1–2 hours.
- Extreme crying with lots of resistance.
- Offering comfort or support didn’t help her fall asleep any faster.
When I connected with Miriam, it had been about two months since she’d started dealing with her toddler’s bedtime battles.
Her daughter had previously slept well, and this seemed to come on quite suddenly around 18-months.
Miriam thought this was a normal “regression” and pushed forward, hoping things would pass on their own. She attributed these bedtime battles to everything in the book: teething, separation anxiety, etc.
But weeks went by with no change. They were on the verge of trying to “re-train” her when we connected.
Troubleshooting this toddler’s bedtime resistance
Our plan was to track her sleep over 24 hours for a few days to get a sense of her sleep needs.
By tracking her sleep, we would understand her true 24-hour sleep needs and build her new schedule around that need.
After a few days, we uncovered she was averaging about 12 hours of sleep. This is actually spot on average for a child her age. (see the National Sleep Foundation Chart)
My suspicion that she was being offered too much sleep was confirmed. She was previously being offered over 13 hours of opportunity to sleep, which was not aligned with her current sleep need.
As a result, this was causing her to not be tired enough at bedtime and have a long sleep onset, and ultimately resist bedtime.
On the surface, it seemed like her daughter lost her ability to self-settle, but in the background, it was simply that her sleep pressure was not optimal.
So we put a simple plan into action…
The Sleep
Plan
We built a schedule to reflect her 12-hour sleep need.
Miriam’s family wanted a wake-up time of 7 am, so we built the new schedule around that.
New Schedule:
Wake: 7:00
Nap: 1:00–2:30
Bed: 8:30
Nap capped at 90 minutes; time in bed overnight capped at 10.5 hours.
We advised starting the day at 7 am no matter how the night went
Hold off on any “re-training.”
The Results
It took almost no time for this family to see results. With the right amount of sleep pressure, we noticed progress almost instantly, within 24-48 hours.
There is often an adjustment period where the child might be grumpy due to being woken up earlier or having a short nap. This is not indicative of the schedule being “wrong” for them. If nighttime sleep onset has improved, this is the strongest indicator the schedule is aligned with their needs.
Within two days, the tears and bedtime battles ended. This toddler is loving bedtime again, falling asleep independently in under 10 minutes. The family did not have to re-implement any sleep training.
In fact, applying a sleep training method when their daughter was under-tired would have resulted in unnecessary tears and distress for the entire family.
The Takeaway
💛 The 18-month “regression” is often linked to a steep drop in sleep needs as children enter “true” toddlerhood.
💛 If several weeks go by with no change, it’s often a schedule update that’s needed. Usually more awake time!
💛 Don’t assume your child needs to be re-sleep trained unless you’ve addressed the schedule first.
💛Self-settling skills don’t disappear magically — this is usually a sign that sleep pressure isn’t adequate.
💛 Letting your wake-up time fluctuate based on the night will only perpetuate the cycle.
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